


Expecting

by DownInTheGutter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood and Gore, Bottom Sam, Dark, Extremely Dubious Consent, Homelessness, Horror, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentally Challenged Sam, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Murder, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:00:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2109114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownInTheGutter/pseuds/DownInTheGutter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.</p><p>Mental illness, miscarriages, stillborns, violence, nasty stuff.<br/>Graphic descriptions of deformed fetuses.<br/>Sam is about 15 here.<br/>Dubious consent because of Sam's mental state and age.<br/>I love happy Wincest mpreg, but ignoring the whole male pregnancy thing, there’s a huge chance of genetic defects as a result of incest. Also, I love dark!fics more.</p><p>I'm not giving up on How To Handle a Rope, but I got this idea in my head this morning and had to write it.<br/>Also, I'm writing Wincest instead of studying for my exam resit. I think I've got my priorities straight.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.
> 
> Mental illness, miscarriages, stillborns, violence, nasty stuff.  
> Graphic descriptions of deformed fetuses.  
> Sam is about 15 here.  
> Dubious consent because of Sam's mental state and age.  
> I love happy Wincest mpreg, but ignoring the whole male pregnancy thing, there’s a huge chance of genetic defects as a result of incest. Also, I love dark!fics more.
> 
> I'm not giving up on How To Handle a Rope, but I got this idea in my head this morning and had to write it.  
> Also, I'm writing Wincest instead of studying for my exam resit. I think I've got my priorities straight.

They are so happy the first time they find out Sam’s pregnant.

Dean holds his hand and smiles the whole time. Sam is smiling, too.

The doctor isn’t smiling. He says things Sam isn’t sure he understands. You won’t be able to carry the pregnancy to term, he says. The fetus will never develop a fully functional brain. Dean shouts that he’s lying.

The doctor says their baby won’t survive another month. When he starts asking Sam weird questions Dean pulls out a knife. The doctor calls security.

They run back home.

Their home doesn’t have electricity or running water, and they only have a mattress and a shopping cart they keep their stuff in and a couple of shelves, but Sam doesn’t care, because they’re together.

A week later Sam wakes up because of the pain and blood between his legs. He cries for three hours straight. Dean shushes him and tells him they’ll just try again. That they’ll have a baby. But they just had a baby, Sam says.

Sam only stops crying when Dean picks up their baby carefully and puts it in an empty jar. Look, Sammy, the baby’s gonna stay with us, he says. It’s safe, see. He brings the jar to Sam. The baby doesn’t have legs and its head has a wrong shape and it’s so, so tiny, but it’s their baby and Sam is happy.

They put the jar with their baby on a shelf.

Dean pours something in the jars every time they put their babies in there. Says it’ll keep them comfortable. Formaldehyde, he calls it. Sam used to think it smells bad, but now he likes it, because it reminds him of their babies.

Dean has to find them a new mattress a couple of times. It’s alright, Sammy, he says. People throw them out all the time.

They have seven jars now. Seven babies. Some of them don’t really look like babies, but that’s alright, Sam knows that they are.

It’s all good until Dean says they’ll have to get rid of the other babies when they have a real one. A baby with two legs and two arms, no more and no less, with fingers and thumbs and toes, and a face with two eyes and a nose and a mouth, and a nice skull that covers the whole brain. Sam punches him and starts crying. He says they’re their real babies, too.

Dean says he’s sorry over and over and over again until Sam calms down. He says he loves their babies and he didn’t mean it that way. He says he loves him. Sam says he loves him too.

One day they hear a car outside, for the first time since they moved into their house. Dean says they have to hide their babies. That no one else can see them. Sam hides them under the floorboards. He feels bad about it, because it’s cold and dark there and they’ll be alone, but Dean says it’s important.

There’s two police officers and Dean fights, but they pin him to the floor and put him in handcuffs and then one of them restrains Sam when he tries to help him.

They take them to the station and put them in separate rooms. It’s awful. Sam’s never been away from Dean for longer than a couple of minutes.

The police say the doctor they went to before they had their first baby alerted them. Sam thinks it’s because Dean pulled a knife on him. They say it’s because Dean’s hurting him. Sam doesn’t understand.

They put a piece of paper in front of him and tell him it says what Dean did wrong. He can’t read that well, because he never really went to school, but they say it out loud anyway. Big words. Incest. Statutory rape. Brainwashing. Coercion. We’ll get you a therapist, Sam. They say Dean is sick. Sam snorts at that. If Dean is sick, then Sam is sick, too.

They say that Dean forced him. They say it’s not his fault. Sam says he wants to be with Dean. They say he doesn’t understand.

They say they need to take him away from Dean, somewhere safe. They’re out of their minds. He’s only ever safe with Dean.

There’s some noise outside and they leave him in the room to check on it.

They don’t come back, Dean does. He has blood on his hands and clothes. Just like every time they have a baby.

When they come back for their babies Dean says they have to find a new home. They’re not safe here anymore. Sam agrees. He just needs a while in here.

He takes their babies from under the floorboards and kisses every jar before he puts them in their shopping cart. Dean kisses them, too.

Dean covers them with a blanket. Sam thinks it’s so their babies are warm, but Dean repeats it’s so that no one else sees them. Sam’s alright with it. Dean’s always right.

They walk the whole night before they find another house they can live in on the other side of town. Just for now, Dean says. We’ll have to get far away from here.

They put the jars on the floor by the wall. Dean makes them a bed with blankets and clothes because there’s no mattress in there.

Before they make love Sam turns the jars around. He knows the babies can’t see them, not really, but he feels better like that. They only have twelve eyes altogether. Two of them only have one eye, one doesn’t have a face, but one has two faces, each with two eyes and a nose and a mouth. This one has four arms and four legs, too. Sam thinks it kind of makes up for the ones that don’t have limbs.

Dean pulls him into his arms and Sam’s happy again.

Maybe this time they’re going to have a baby that won’t be in a jar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this chapter's looking the way I wanted it to, so I might just edit it sometime. It just feels incomplete, if y'all know what I mean, but I felt like posting it anyway.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments for the previous chapter, they were awesome.
> 
> Also, I’m adding attempted infanticide to the warnings. Be warned.  
> Oh, and in case anyone gives a fuck after reading the first note – I did pass that goddamn resit. Yay me.  
> Enjoy.

They get far away from their house.

They run and they get car and truck rides, and Dean’s holding his hand and telling him it’s all going to be okay. Their babies (jars) are in a bag Dean got. Sam always has one of his hands on it, just to make sure it’s still there.

One man that gives them a ride in his truck stops and asks to see what’s inside the bag. Sam says he can’t look inside it, because that’s what Dean said, but the man reaches for it anyway. Dean tells Sam to close his eyes.

He does, but he opens them again when he hears an awful, rattling sound. He hates loud sounds.

He sees the man’s head stuck in the truck’s broken windshield.

When Dean sees he’s got his eyes open he moves so that Sam can’t see it anymore. He says he’s sorry. I had to do it, Sammy, he says. He looks sad.

Sam grabs his hand again and tells him it’s all going to be okay. It feels kind of good to be the one saying that for once.

They walk for hours before they get another ride, and drive for hours before Dean says they found a new place.

It’s nice, their new place. It feels safe. It was kind of dirty, but they cleaned it up. They spend a lot of time outside it, cause they have to get a bunch of new stuff, but it’s okay. They got another shopping cart and they have a nice mattress and nice pillows and lots of blankets and there was still a table and a chair in the house when they got there. It feels like home.

They only find out Sam’s pregnant again when he starts showing, because they can’t go to a doctor no more.

They stay in their new home for months.

That’s good, too.

Dean looks him in the eyes the whole time they make love. He kisses him and tells him how much he loves him. He tells Sam he’s beautiful and sweet and amazing.

It’s not that easy, making love, cause Sam’s got a really big belly now. He’s never been pregnant for that long before.

Dean is really happy about it. Sam is happy, too, but not as much as Dean. He wishes they had another baby already.

When his stomach finally starts hurting it lasts longer than it ever did. Everything hurts for hours and hours.

And when they finally have another baby, it cries. It’s never happened before.

Dean is so happy he cries, too.

Dean asks how he wants to name him, but Sam doesn’t really have a clue. It’s their baby, why would it need another name, he says. Dean corrects him he’s a boy, not an ‘it’. He does that a lot.

Dean talks about being happy that they have a bigger family now, all the time. He doesn't even look at their other babies anymore.

Sam isn’t happy.

The baby is breathing and screaming and crying and Sam wishes it was silent like their other babies, because nothing he does stops the crying and it’s awful, awful, awful.

Dean usually makes it quiet, and sometimes Sam manages to do that, too, but it doesn’t always work.

Dean goes out a lot now, to get stuff for their baby, he says, and Sam is left alone with it and it cries all the time.

He tries to make it quiet with a pillow once.

It just keeps on screaming and Dean is not there to help him, and he takes the pillow and puts it over the baby because he can’t stand the screaming anymore, and it works and it's finally quiet.

But then Dean gets back and sees it and gets really, really mad. He never got mad at Sam before.

He pushes Sam away so hard he falls down to the floor. Dean doesn’t even look at him to check if he’s alright. He just leans over their baby and starts pressing its chest with two fingers and blowing air into its mouth. It stays silent, and Dean leans back and puts his hands over his face.

When the baby starts crying again, Dean starts crying again, too.

Sam sits on their mattress and stares at the wall. When Dean sits next to him he gets up, turns his back on him and crosses his arms over his chest. Dean steps up behind him and puts his arms around him. He takes one of Sam’s hands in his. Sam doesn’t move away.

I’m sorry I hurt you, Sammy, he says. I just got worried about our boy. He presses a kiss to Sam’s hair and squeezes his hand. Sam squeezes back, twice.

Dean kisses his hair again. I’ll take care of you, Sammy, he says. I’ll take care of both of you.


End file.
